prythrob's Blog

Irrational: Hello are you there?
Rational: Not you again; what do you want? I suppose you’re bloody depressed again?
Irrational: There is no need to be so mean; and yes, I am pretty depressed.
Rational: It’s not that bloody laundry thing again? I can’t understand why you’re so obsessed with that?
Irrational: I just am. Does there really need to be a reason why?
Rational: Well it would help me understand why you desire to be treated in such a way if you could give me the reason!
Irrational: I don’t know the reason; you know I don’t.
Rational: Well I suspect that deep down you do know but you just will not let yourself admit it.
Irrational: I disagree strongly.
Rational: I expected you to disagree!
Irrational: So are you going to help me or just be critical of my desires?
Rational: I don’t understand why you need my help? It’s not as it you’ll listen to what I tell you.
Irrational: But I need you to tell me anyway.
Rational: I thought you’d got all this sorted out? Haven’t you found a Mistress who treats you like laundry? Even burnt you quite seriously with her steam iron, if I recall?
Irrational: Yes Mistress is fantastic; but she is a nice, kind and caring woman and will therefore not able to fulfill my main desire.
Rational: You mean she wouldn’t, even if she had a suitable sized machine, put you in a washing machine!
Irrational: Yes, that is after all the ultimate goal of my fantasy.
Rational: Your Mistress sound like a sensible woman to me and I am very glad that she would never contemplate killing you in a washing machine.
Irrational: I’m not; I would gladly let her put me in or let me climb into a machine!
Rational: Yes well that’s why you’re the irrational one and I’m what’s left of your sanity.
Irrational: In fact I would let any woman put me in a machine.
Rational: What would you’re Mistress say if she heard you say that? I bet she wouldn’t be happy that you still yearn to be put in a washing machine after all she’s done for you.
Irrational: I suspect Mistress would be very angry indeed.
Rational: That would make two of us then.
Irrational: Nevertheless given the opportunity; I would take it.
Rational: You do realise what would happen? You would be killed; sooner rather than later in the machine! Even before then you would be in a lot of pain! Don’t you see what a stupid thing it is to ask a woman to do that to you?
Irrational: I know what would happen; I have always known. Don’t be so patronising.
Rational: Well sometimes I think you seem to think it would be fun or exciting instead of scary, painful and fatal!
Irrational: None of those things would stop me.
Rational: That’s a very selfish attitude! What about your Mistress, family and friends? You’re effectively talking about suicide! What about the woman who helps you; what would happen to her?
Irrational: Well I’d be dead; so none of those things would matter to me! If I wanted to just commit suicide I’d jump in front of a bus or slit my wrists.
Rational: That’s what I mean; that’s a pig-headed selfish attitude. I know that you’ve already nearly gone through with the act of suicide!
Irrational: Yes that is true; and although she is unaware of it Mistress saved me.
Rational: Do you not think therefore that you owe it to your Mistress to stay alive; to not get yourself into a washing machine?
Irrational: I would like to pay back me debt to Mistress by staying alive; but the desire is too strong. Things haven’t been going smoothly between Mistress and I recently either!
Rational: You are talking about the stuff with your friend openly attacking your Mistress? Did it harm your relationship with your Mistress? Has she said you cannot go and see her again?
Irrational: Yes the stuff with my friend was scary and frightening, I thought Mistress would go ballistic; but she just thought it was amusing and she hasn’t said I cannot go and see her again.
Rational: So what’s the problem?
Irrational: The idea of losing Mistress terrifies me more than anything; she is the only woman I have found who was brave enough to even try and make my dreams come true; chances are I would never find anyone like her again if she decided I was more trouble than I was worth.
Rational: But you said she was OK when you spoke to her! I cannot understand the connection with this sudden re-awakening of your desire to get put into a washing machine?
Irrational: It never went away my friend but the worries about my relationship with my Mistress have brought it back to the surface as I will obviously need to find another woman to help.
Rational: Again that sounds like a betrayal of the work and effort your Mistress has put into helping you. As the last shreds of your sanity I still find what your Mistress does to you quite alarming but she does keep you alive and I genuinely believe she does care about you.
Irrational: Yes I do believe she cares about me; I am sure she cares about all her slaves and subs.
Rational: I will ask you again then; why?
Irrational: Why what?
Rational: Don’t get smug with me mate! Why knowing that your Mistress cares for you and after all her efforts and hard work making your sessions with her so wonderful, do you still desire to die in a machine designed to wash clothing?
Irrational: I don’t want to die; I just accept that I will. I don’t need to explain myself to you.
Rational: Well that is just the type of empty nonsense I’d expect from someone as irrational and crazy as you.
Irrational: I’ll take that as a complement.
Rational: Well you shouldn’t; you’re and idiot who cannot see how lucky he is!
Irrational: I suppose you’re going to tell me about all those other people out there in the world in a much worse state than me? Going to tell me how lucky I am to be healthy, have a job, a good family, friends who put up with me and a wonderful Mistress?
Rational: Well I wasn’t actually going to say that but as you mentioned it; yes all those things are true.
Irrational: I hate my job!
Rational: I am sorry to hear than! Does it have any relevance to the current discussion?
Irrational: None at all, but I do really hate my job and loosing it would mean no money, no tribute and no Mistress! The more depressed I get the more mistakes I make and the more likely loosing my job becomes.
Rational: Getting yourself killed wouldn’t make your job any more pleasant?
Irrational: No, but it would take away the worry of losing Mistress and disappointing her.
Rational: You’ve just owned up to something I think there my friend; not disappoint your Mistress?
Irrational: I haven’t been able to maintain my objectification properly in any of the sessions; in the last one I gave Mistress three scares by being unwell and fainting. I don’t think I deserve her!
Rational: You feel ashamed of scaring her? Have you apologised? What did she say?
Irrational: Yes I do, I must be a big disappointment to her. I have apologised on numerous occasions and she seems not to be too bothered.
Rational: So what’s the problem if she’s not too bothered?
Irrational: I think she is just trying to be nice and doesn’t want to hurt my feelings! I did say she was a nice woman!
Rational: So you’re effectively accusing your Mistress of lying to you?
Irrational: You make it sound nasty! She is trying to stop me feeling bad about myself and feeling like the idiot that I am.
Rational: Well we can all agree that you are an idiot!
Irrational: If you’re just going to trade insults I don’t see any reason to continue this conversation.
Rational: I am sorry; none of your arguments make any coherent logic. What you are effectively saying is “I am depressed because I cannot find a woman who will put me in a washing machine, even though I know it will kill me. I have a wonderful Mistress but she is too nice and kind to effectively kill me by finding a machine big enough and letting me get inside. I feel like I have let Mistress down during the sessions by not acting like laundry and being ill and having a friend who openly attacks her because of the damage Mistress has caused, and I am afraid of Mistress deciding that I cannot go and see her again. I actually believe Mistress is very angry with me but is trying to be nice to save hurting my feelings.”
Irrational: Yes that’s about right.
Rational: You do realise just how stupid that sounds to anyone who isn’t you?
Irrational: Why do you say that?
Rational: Because getting put in a washing machine will not make you happy; it would make you dead! If your Mistress cares enough about you to hide her anger to save your feelings; how do you think she will feel when she learns that you’ve gone and done something stupid and are dead? What about your friend who is so concerned about you that she has been attacking your Mistress? How do you think she will feel to learn that you are dead?
Irrational: Again being dead, it wouldn’t bother me!
Rational: That’s that selfishness again; it is quite disgusting you know? When your friend read your latest batch of poems about suicide; what was her reaction?
Irrational: She panicked and got into a right state! I upset me that I’d got her so worried.
Rational: And you think being dead will not upset her a tiny bit more than some depressing poems?
Irrational: I know where you are going with this; but again being dead the reactions of people afterwards would not be of any consequence to me.
Rational: But you can imagine how they would feel?
Irrational: Yes I can; in fact I have experience of how it feels to loose someone close.
Rational: But still you would do it? Or take some other means of ending it all if you couldn’t get your wish?
Irrational: Yes, I would.
Rational: Then I don’t know why you wanted to speak to me? What’s the point? You are way beyond the point where I can help you my friend.
Irrational: I needed you to tell me before you’ve gone completely!
Rational: You don’t think I will be around much longer? Is that what you are trying to tell me? Insanity isn’t far away?
Irrational: Well I have spent the last 3 hours having an imaginary conversation with myself about my frustration about not finding a woman who will put me in a washing machine; about my Mistress and about suicide. What do you think?
Rational: Point taken my friend, but I haven’t gone yet! The fact that you are having this imaginary conversation with me may be a source of some hope that not all is lost. You are obviously questioning your desires and possible future actions.
Irrational: That is a possibility, but I don’t want to talk any more I need to think.
Rational: We should do this again when you have time?
Irrational: Whilst you are still here I think that would be a good idea.
Rational: See you around then?
Irrational: Maybe my friend.
Rational: ?  

Catherine in a tumble.

The conveyor appears to be carrying you into a large rotating tunnel.
You can see that the conveyor end at the mouth of the tunnel and the laundry ahead in being caught up in the projections on the tunnels rim and are being tossed around in the tunnel as it moves forward.
You’ve seen something similar on television, but that was in a postal sorting office with letters going round and round. This one is doing the same to the newly wrung laundry and will soon be doing the same to you.
As you move closer it starts to get warmer and your ears pick up the sound of fast moving air.
Then the heat hits you; hot dry air!
Is suddenly dawns on you that you are about to be fed by the conveyor into a giant tumble drier!
“Not another stupid machine that’s going to make me dizzy again?” you find yourself asking nobody in particular; there isn’t anybody of course to answer just the machines.
As you get closer and closer you can see the laundry inside the drier tumbling around.
You know that in only a few short seconds the same will be happening to you.
Tumbling and falling in the hot drying air as you are carried along the rotating tunnel.
Then your left foot is caught by one of the tunnels projections and you are whisked off the conveyor into the tunnel.
“Oh! Dear. This is damn hot.”
To be continued.

Catherine in the dark!

Its dark; you cannot even see your body the darkness is so total.
You can still feel the forward motion and the rubber texture of the conveyor pressing on you back.
You’re obviously in some sort of service tunnel between two areas. Of course as the tunnel is used for transporting laundry; why would it need to be illuminated?
Laundry doesn’t need light to look around!
Is seems like you are lost in the darkness for what feels like an eternity; and still the motion of the conveyor carriers you forward.
But to where? Or more importantly to what is it carrying you?
Then you notice the dim light; the light at the end of the tunnel?
The light gets brighter and brighter and your eyes have difficulty adjusting after becoming accustomed to the darkness in the tunnel.
When your vision clears and you are carried out of the tunnel.
What you see is....
To be continued.

Catherine goes through the wringer.

After the beam from the hidden PAR has scanned you nothing appears to happen.
Yet again you are stuck by your breasts in the rollers of the wringer.
Then there is a metallic noise and you see the rollers of the wringer gradually move apart widening the gap between them.
The maw of the wringer in opening wider so it can devour you!
At first just a little but the gap keeps getting wider until!
Your breasts slide under the upper roller and you pass through; the rough roller pushing and rubbing your nipples as they move along.
Then your head is swallowed and then your outstretched arms follow.
You are through the wringer, you have been wrung and you have survived this encounter.
You still appear to be on some sort of conveyor as you can feel a steady forward motion.
But it is pitch-dark; you cannot hear anything!
Behind you the familiar sound of wet laundry going through the wringer returns.
SQUEEZE
As you are carried forward in the darkness..
To be continued.

Well I've started to slide into another depressive period, so there is not much I can really do but ride it to the bottom and wait for the rise up to mania to start again..

At least everything seemed to be OK with Mistress, after all the trouble with my FetLife friend?

Right? No Wrong!

So I get home from work, already in a pretty bad state and log into FetLife, there is a message from Mistress in relation to one of my blog entries "My final thought......", basically she wants to know why I said in the blog that I thought it might have been my final session, (because of all the mud my friend had thrown at her). That's OK, but then she finished the sentence with WTF!?!?

Already in quite a bad state, that WTF has sent me into another panic that I have annoyed Mistress again! Anybody that reads the nonsense I put in my blog knows just how much I panic at the merest suggestion that I have annoyed or upset Mistress...

So already in a pretty depressed mood, and having spent most of the day thinking about suicide the last thing I wanted was to worry about Mistress being angry with me!

I tried to contact Mistress on Skype but had no reply. So I talked to my FetLife friend in Michigan, who was no help really as she was per-occupied with her own problems. Then during our conversation (not that there was much conversation) she started to laugh manically, when I asked her what was going on she told me to go to FetLife. When I had a look she had responded to Mistress's comments with yet another sarcastic remark!

To be honest I can't take much more of this see-sawing emotional turmoil, it's getting to be too much.
 

This is from another site and I don't think it fits anywhere, so I will put it here.

Is any of this nightmare real?
Am I already in an asylum cell and lost?
Banging my bloodied head on the padded wall?
Is this no more than a drug sedated prison and hell?
A crazy gibbering lunatic locked away and long forgot?
Lost within an infinite cascade of overlapping fantasy worlds.
Unsure where the real and the unreal diverge?
Friends? No more than the dying embers of my sanity clothed in unreal flesh.
Personifications of an internal struggle against the insane darkness?
No more real than anything else in this demonic mental hell.
My head bruised and battered and body slashed and cut.
Lost in this hell within my mind all reality I am spared.
Is any of this nightmare real?
Who cares, it must soon come to an end!

Catherine's adventures continue..

Your body slowly emerges from the wringer.
Bellybutton, hips, knees and finally your feet pop out of the wringers rollers. Everything seems to be undamaged, well as undamaged as possible considering what you’ve been through.
The conveyor has stopped; no more wet laundry is coming down to be wrung but there is still quite an accumulation behind the blockage that you caused and this blocks your ability to push your way backwards away from the wringer.
Having ejected you the rollers of the wringer slow and eventually stop again.
Only to immediately start spinning again in there usual direction as the conveyor starts up again.
You’re going back into the wringer!
At least this time there is no fear of being wrung out and squashed flat.
But you still don’t want to go through that again.
Unfortunately for you the wringer has no concept of what you want!
You watch again as your body slowly gets eaten by the wringer; devouring you slowly piece by piece.
SQUEEZE....
Then your breasts brush against the rollers again.
“Here we go again!”
Then a bright red beam scans your breasts.
Somewhere there is a PAR and it has just scanned you!
To be continued.

Well I've just had my first Skype video call, I am no longer a Skype virgin!!

OK I've spoken to my friend in Michigan via the webcam but that was via Facebook, this was my first chat using the actual Skype software...

It was really nice to see Mistress and say hello :) I got to see her cats and her lizard! (that's and actual lizard not an euphemism!)

We had a few teething problems. I could see and hear her but she couldn't hear me. This went on for a while, with me typing and Mistress talking..

Eventually we overcame this problem and we had a nice 30min chat...

She asked me about my burns, about possible scenarios for future sessions and as I've already said she showed me her pets and I'm glad to say made light of the recent problems with my friend on FetLife.

Made me very happy to see Mistress.. :)

This is one of my journal entries from another website, I thought I would post it here also.

It a strange old life when almost every waking hour is spent wishing you were something else!

Not it's important to stress someone else but something else, usually something inanimate.

Of course the perverse thing is, if I was inanimate I wouldn't be aware of the things I want done to me.

Stalemate?

Of course some of the things I want done to me would quickly make me an inanimate object?

But I still wouldn't be a thing or an object just another dead corpse, remains of a human body!

So choose animate or inanimate, alive or never-living can't be both at the same time.

Stalemate?

The recent worries I had, firstly that I would loose Mistress due to my employers failure to pay what I was due and that I would not be able to afford further tribute and secondly that Mistress has decided I wasn't worth the hassle after my FetLife friend launched a verbal attack on her because of what she saw as Mistress's disregard and abuse of me.

Now as my stuff on EP from these periods show, they caused a lot of distress and mental anguish. Had it not perversely been for my friend who caused all the trouble on FetLife, a quick reassuring email from Mistress and a few of my EP friends I am not sure what would have happened.

Now in one of my brief moments of clarity this got me thinking about what will happen when I cannot any longer afford to go and see Mistress!

Right at the start it was obvious that going to see a Mistress to peruse my unusual fantasies could not be sustained indefinitely. The services of my Mistress are expensive (I am after all a highly labour-intensive client and laundering me takes up a lot of her time!), coupled with my compulsion to buy her expensive gifts means that my savings will soon run out. I maybe have enough money for three possibly four more sessions (depending on Mistress's plans for me).

So what then?

Well as I've already hinted at in some of my previous blogs, I don't really see myself lasting very long after my final session. Strangely even if I found a woman who though it might be fun and agreed occasionally to include me in her laundry for free (as long as I didn't expect to go in a washing machine), it would perversely feel like a betrayal of Mistress's time and effort!

* Not that you shouldn't offer if your interested ladies? After all who else is going to let you steam iron them? Giggle :)

So three possibly four sessions, maybe the middle of next year at the latest.. and then?

Not a poem or another bad verse,
but a short essay on my curse.
To want to be something never alive,
just a thing with no will to survive.

Need to be something not a mortal soul,
an inanimate object to be is my goal.
To be born-again as something dead,
As a thing, and object anything instead.


*OK I lied it's a poem!

Catherine is stuck.

The wringer pulls and pulls to get you through the rollers but your breasts just will not go move and you remain stuck.
More wet laundry coming down the conveyor starts to bang into your head; you are causing a serious blockage.
As the wringer pulls on your body the rollers rubbing at your breasts you notice that the rollers are not actually solid. They appear to bend and kink to the contours of your breasts as they press down.
“So that’s why I’m unhurt”
Although pressing down on your body and SQUEEZING, the rollers have enough give for then to have followed the contours of your body as the wringer swallowed you and luckily leaving you uninjured and alive.
But your breasts are still preventing you from moving all the way through and the blockage you are causing is getting extreme.
Something has to give soon or the whole PAR driven process will break down!
All of a sudden red lights start to shine around you and the rollers in the wringer cease rotating.
Alarms start to blare! ALARM ALARM!!
Then, slowly at first the rollers start to spin in the opposite direction and your body begins to re-emerge.
The wringer is spitting you out.
To be continued.

Catherine in a squeeze

SQUEEZE
You watch fascinated as your feet are swallowed whole by the ravenous industrial wringer.
Almost with detachment you see your feet disappear into the rollers as you are drawn further into the rotating maw.
“Shouldn’t I be screaming” you think to yourself.
You are puzzled as to why you are not in pain; you are after all being fed into a giant laundry wringer!
Another tug on you legs, you’re up to your knees in the rollers; still you cannot feel any more than an intense pressure on your body.
Yet another jerk forward as the machine devours more of your body like a hungry beast wringing it out just like laundry.
You are up to your hips now; still you can feel no pain and there is not sign that you have suffered any injury.
You are drawn further into the wringer; now up to your belly button.
You can feel the rollers spinning between your legs; pressure but no pain.
Even further into the machine... no the rollers start to caress your breasts.
The rollers of the wringer pull on your body but you move no further.
You are stuck!
To be continued..

Well it about time I did my final blog about my third session!
I must admit when I started to write this blog entry yesterday I was in a right state and wasn't sure whether this would be my last session with Mistress.
I have covered almost everything that happened in my previous two blogs so in this final one I want to concentrate on what went wrong, or more precisely what I did wrong and briefly some more of my feelings post session.
Exorcise my demons you might say?
OK, I am sure anyone who reads my nonsense is aware that I had a spot of trouble with my tummy and fainting? (If not why are you reading this blog entry first? Go back and read the previous two!)
I am going to emphasise again before I start, that nothing that happened was in any way a direct consequence of Mistress’s actions and how she decided to wash her laundry. Everything that went wrong was my fault and when I’d put aside my pig-headed refusal to break my objectification and found my voice Mistress was always there to bail me out and to look after me. I am going to say that again just in case it didn’t sink in properly, everything that went wrong was my fault, and I am an idiot!
Now I don’t eat much as it is anyway and I have lost a lot of weight, so I can usually survive on very little food. However being put through a process designed for clothing with all the extremes of temperatures and pain is bound to burn up an enormous amount of energy. So the amount of calories burned far exceeded my normal intake of food, although I did eat less than I normally would whilst in the session; less than normal? Why would you do that?
This is going to come as a bit of a shock and will either show how committed I am to the concept of my objectification and/or how much of an idiot I am! Well laundry does not speak, scream, and move about under its own volition (all things I have failed in some way to maintain during a session), and of course, and here’s the important bit; laundry doesn’t need to pop off to go and sit of the toilet! Yes I know, extremely stupid but it was something I was genuinely worried about.
So the initial extreme tummy ache was obviously due to my tummy being empty, as I said in my previous blog the pain started to pass almost as soon as I’d taken a few gulps of the orange juice than Mistress speedily provided.
So in effect I was running on empty; again not because of anything Mistress had done, recall from my previous blog that she had been trying to feed me all Saturday evening (she even provided a menu for a local pizza venue), all of which were turned down by stupid me.
So the main washing part of the session went fine. I think Mistress had been looking forward to seeing my reaction to being scrubbed with the scrubbing mittens! That sneaky grin Mistress has when she knows something is unpleasant, but she is going to do it anyway, because that is what you asked her to do, is fantastic! Of course I was lying down in the bath all this time and was being move passively by Mistress so very little calorie burning going on.
The dynamic obviously changed when I got tied to the radiator, not specifically due to the heat but as I was standing up! What I ate/drank after I fainted the first time was not enough fuel to keep me standing for very long so I fainted again once the energy from that was used up.
One thing I think Mistress and I should have learned from the first session is that it is a very bad idea to get laundry to stand up! It tends to fall to the floor in a pile lol!!
The really perverse thing is that I am addicted to marshmallows, which are almost 100% sugar, and I had a huge pack of my favourite type in my backpack; and I had three opportunities to give myself a massive energy boost but didn’t take it. Why? To be honest even I don’t know that, maybe I genuinely just forgot about them until I saw then on Monday morning; I cannot recall actually deciding not to eat them at any point!
Of course I am trying to put a jokey spin on what went amiss but that doesn’t excuse the fact that I gave Mistress three pretty dramatic scares; which again I feel I need to apologise unreservedly to Mistress for.
OK, time to go off on a bit of a tangent...
Seeing as this is the last blog I will do about the third session (I might squeeze out a few poems if you’re unlucky), I want to go back and talk about the steam ironing. I know that this has upset a very good friend of mine and it is something I think deserves to be discussed again; by going back to the very beginning.
Right at the very start of my time with Mistress, W/we had a long discussion about the possible consequences of using laundry products on me and of course we discussed the most likely outcome of using an iron on me post-washing. Now I made if perfectly clear to Mistress that I wasn’t overly concerned with the consequences or burns/scars etc. and that she should do with me as she saw fit as an item of laundry! It is therefore important to stress that Mistress is working within an agreed and consensual framework during my sessions (as I know she does with all her subs).
So the important thing to stress is I do not count the fact that Mistress burned me in this session (or the second one for that matter) as ‘something that went wrong’. It is an obvious consequence of asking to be ironed. In fact Mistress knows that I am actually perversely quite chuffed with my souvenirs. It may also be prudent here to state that Mistress did ask me if I had anything in my bag to put on any possible burns, although I didn’t have anything specific with me as home wasn’t too far away I did have an Aloe Vera cream with me, which Mistress helped apply to my back on Monday morning.
One other thing I also know that has upset my friend is Mistress’s reference to me a ‘fabric’. Now Mistress knows I crave this type of dehumanisation and I am quite happy for Mistress to refer to me as fabric, garment, laundry or even it. I even refer to myself on my twitter account as laundry and as it, and I have even referred to myself as fabric. So Mistress is not being uncaring or dismissive of my injuries merely maintaining the objectification that I like.
OK, now back to the blog proper.... Not that there is really much more to say!
I was really sad when it was time to come home and I really didn’t want to get out of Mistress’s car when W/we arrived in my street.
I don’t really think there is anything more to add, so as far as this third session goes; that’s your lot..
Until next time..?

Well I eventually re-activated my FetLife account, and almost immediately things went ballistic.

So today I posted the following on my profile.

I walked home from work the long way after my shift today so I could have an extra think about what has been happening on Fet and the distress it has been causing me.
I was told yesterday to stand-up for myself and not be a ‘little man’, so this is me standing-up for myself and putting my foot down.
This message is for everyone of FetLife, good precious friends or those who just come across my profile by chance.

Important rules if you wish to engage with me in any way, send me a friend request or comment on one of my blogs/stories.

1. You do NOT in any way insult my Mistress or besmirch her long standing good name.
2. You do NOT in any way imply that my Mistress in anything other than a genuinely caring person.
3. You UNDERSTAND that I am loyal to my Mistress, until SHE says otherwise!

If you follow these rules we can all co-exist quite happily and get along.

I do not want any comments on this entry (from anyone), any comments regardless of who from will be deleted as soon as I spot them.

The war of words between my friend and Mistress kicked off again today and to be honest it broke my heart.

In the end I had to deactivate my Facebook and FetLife accounts, I just couldn't cope.  

Well it been just over a week now so I think it is time for me usual follow-on blog about my session with Mistress.
I left quite a lot of stuff out of my first blog as I wanted to post it ASAP.
So with this one I hope to “fill in the gaps” as it were!
So on Saturday night I got picked up by Mistress after my shift in work finished. As I’ve already said this was a very strange feeling as my usual journey to see Mistress takes me quite a considerable distance from my everyday surroundings.
Mistress actually went past me in the car at one point! Watching her get closer and closer and then drive away was quite upsetting; luckily she stopped not far from where I was standing to send me a text so I quickly caught up with her.
I have already related how I keep breaking or knocking over Mistress’s other property when I meet her. (Did you see what I did there?) This time as I’ve said was no exception, must have been around ten minutes before I broke something (yes a whole ten minutes, I’m obviously loosing my touch!).
I believe I’ve mentioned that I got to watch Mistress working over the internet. Although it was quite a quiet night and Mistress was having trouble with her internet speed it was still a fascinating insight into a part of Mistress’s work I don’t usually get to see. I also got to see Mistress in more “traditional” dominatrix attire; usually I only get to see Mistress is attire appropriate for doing laundry!
I wasn’t much use helping Mistress with her internet problems, normally if it had been my internet I would have pottered about and possibly come across a solution; but as it was Mistress’s internet and something that she needed for her work the possibility of making things worse made discretion the best option. (Remember my tendency to break stuff!)
I did manage to work the TV (big deal), which allowed Mistress and me to watch ‘Britain’s got Talent’ and ‘The Voice’ together via catch-up? These are not shows I’d normally watch but I did enjoy watching them with Mistress.
Mistress has also been kind enough to bring her coin collection with her so I could have a peek. A really interesting collection of UK, special occasion and Crown Dependency coins, which I was grateful for the chance to see.
I did give myself the job of keeping Mistress’s wine and later cocktail glass topped up. It doesn’t sound like the most glamorous or taxing of roles but I was pleased to be doing something however small to assist Mistress.
It is also important considering what happened the next day to point out that Mistress had been trying to feed me most of the evening offering me rice and pizza, prior to out initial bin excursion. In the end I settled for some orange juice, tea and a bowl of cereal. (How much difference would just one slice of pizza have made to the events the following day?)
Now as I said in my previous blog entry we had quite a nice chat during Saturday evening, when Mistress wasn’t occupied with her work on the internet. One thing I did find out was that we have something from our pasts that we share; that meant a lot to me. It was also nice to find that Mistress thought I was much younger than I actually am! We also discussed my tendency to muck about with cross dressing and the possibility that Mistress could base a session around that (although as I said I would have problems shaving off my beard Mistress said I’d have to be a bearded lady lol!). We also discussed high heels and the different smell of fake and genuine shoes! As I’ve already blogged we discussed an “animal” scenario as a possible alternative in the future. This is of course is not to imply that I don’t want to be laundry again, far from it as that is my primary fetish. It would however be nice to throw a few more things into the mix as they say, to provide some variation for Mistress and myself.
At one point I made a pretty bad taste joke about the bin being a convenient place for me to be if something went wrong. The look Mistress gave me made it quite clear that she was not in the least bit amused and I had to issue a pretty hasty apology (Sorry Mistress!)
I also learnt an interesting new euphemism for going to the toilet!
I also went to tidy myself up in the bathroom around 11pm! To be honest I wanted to check the temperature of the hot water! The water was hot, really hot compared to the water in Mistress’s chambers. When I returned to the living room and told Mistress how hot it was, she simply said “at least it will get you nice and clean.” That was a great comeback and it made me smile.
Now when Mistress decided it was time for me to go into the bin as I have already related I went off to put my nappy on (btw I found wearing a nappy extremely embarrassing!). What I didn’t say last time was that I’d forgotten how to put it on properly and Mistress had to come and help me!
So the bin, which was really smelly! Since I became Mistress’s property at the start of the year I have learnt many lessons about the difference between the fantasies in my head or in my stories and the reality of actually being treated as an inanimate object. The most obvious thing I’ve learnt is that being treated like laundry is painful and damaging (I know common sense, but it’s me we’re talking about here! You have read my stuff? Haven’t you?). Of course in my fantasy version of being thrown in a bin by a woman the rubbish doesn’t smell! In reality of course it stank quite a lot, but I was still going in!
I found the whole sneaking around in the dark quite a good giggle, I really liked that. I was getting quite excited and making quite a bit of noise so I got a bit of a swift chiding from Mistress.
I was actually quite upset that I couldn’t get into my bag properly in the dark as I know I can fit almost completely inside them. I also know that Mistress had been looking forward to getting me in the bin and leaving me there! However it was still a thrill to climb inside and for Mistress to close the lid on me and leave, even for a short while!
As I said previously I’d started to get quite comfy in the bin by the time Mistress came to retrieve me and had even started to drift off to sleep! We’d been trying to come up with excuses as to why I was in the bin if we got caught. I believe Mistress was leaning towards some sort of post drinking high jinx lol!
After taking me out of the bin it was as I’d previously said a case of ‘see if you can fit in here’ as far as the cupboards in the apartment went.
The first cupboard Mistress tried to fit me in was too small (or I was to big depending on your point of view) and the shelf in the wardrobe we tried afterwards was warping under my weight and could have easily snapped during the night (I didn’t want to break anything else!)
So I ended up, in a bin bag (a clean one I might add as I’d left the other one in the bin) in Mistress’s closet with the mops, ironing board (which Mistress pointed out she was not going to use) and general cleaning stuff (and that damn bucket!)
Now I have slept in much worse places during my many travels. I am sure those of you in the States have heard of the Green Tortoise bus service? I went on one of those buses from San Francisco to the Burning Man festival back in 2003 and I can tell you that the closet was paradise compared to that bus!
It is amazing the positions you find comfortable in a confined space! I had at one point considered trying to stand up to stretch my legs but I couldn’t be sure I could do it without knocking things over and waking Mistress or whether I’d be able to quietly get back down onto the floor afterwards! Best to just stay put. At one point I woke up (that damn bucket again) with my legs flush with the door, sticking up into the air, lucky Mistress didn’t open the door!
Well I think I covered the main washing part of the session quite thoroughly in my last blog, but there are a few things I missed out. You may recall my confusion as to why Mistress didn’t spray me with stain remover like she would normally do? Well I later found out that it was because she’d poured into the water so it did a better job!
The bath was really big in the apartment, more than sufficient to completely submerge me if Mistress had desired to do so and I was quite surprised that she didn’t (I’m doing it again, I never learn!)
I’m not going to dwell on my failings in this entry (bound to be another blog entry about that) but I will say this; fainting is a really strange sensation! One minute you’re in one place and the next you have inexplicably moved! The discontinuity is really perplexing until you realise what has just happened.
The strange thing was that whilst I was in the empty bath waiting for Mistress to come back and rinse me, I did think about the possibility of Mistress putting me on the radiator; but I quickly dismissed the idea as unlikely! I will know next time not to dismiss any possibilities so lightly!
Although I found being tied to the radiator really exciting, I was a little disappointed when I realised that Mistress hadn’t found a way to hang me up to dry, which as I said was the first thing that crossed my mind when she turned up with the rope. I am quite surprised at the amount of damage it did to my back as once I’d found a ‘comfy’ position there was very little pain!
When I returned to the radiator a second time and was positioned facing the heating elements it was actually quite nice, and I was quite happy to listen to Mistress working and watching Nashville. I was waiting for Nashville to finish as that would have been the logical time for Mistress to come and get me!
By the way the sandwich Mistress made for me was spam and piccalilli and it was very nice! Mistress also had a sandwich as well.
Now watching Twister with Mistress was as quite an experience, with Mistress quoting lines from the films characters and telling me what was about to happen.
Jo: :[cow flies by in the storm] Cow.
Melissa: [On the phone] I gotta go Julia, we got cows.
Jo: 'Nother cow.
Bill: Actually I think that was the same one.
This dialogue really seemed to crack Mistress up, even quoting it before the scene came on the television.
You have may recall that I said I had to pluck up enough courage after the film had finished to ask Mistress what her plans for me were; the reasons are twofold. Firstly I wasn’t sure if Mistress was angry with me for causing her so much trouble and because I was frightened she might decide not to continue with the session. So when she said that she still wanted to iron me I was very relieved.
OK, the ironing. Now it is very important to stress here that I asked Mistress to use steam (in fact I’d moaned about her not using steam in one of my previous blogs), and that Mistress did caution me about the obvious damage it would cause. I cannot stress that point enough. Now although I’ve been dry ironed twice by Mistress now, I have never been steam ironed before and Mistress has never steam ironed a person before (even one who is pretending to be an item of laundry), so it was a learning experience for both of us! Now it hurt a lot but at no time did it tell Mistress to stop, it was Mistress’s decision to get me some extra protection! Now the most obvious question I’m going to get asked is; would you let your Mistress steam iron you again if she wanted to? To which the answer is; of course I would! (Well to be honest I think the most obvious question may be; Why?)
I must also point out that I was of course on the floor and Mistress was walking around me with the hissing iron, which made the power dynamic really, really exciting; hopefully for both of us!
OK, so post ironing and back in a nappy I was as I have said put back into the closet for the night and cocooned into a pile of clean bed clothes and pillows. Now Mistress could have lifted this straight out of one of my fantasies! This was seriously exciting and I have imagined something similar since my early childhood.
There had been an idea that Mistress might try and incorporate me into a made bed (not a good description of the fantasy) but the beds were too short to allow me to be fully enclosed in them, so closet it was!
So I think that this blog entry is long enough, so I will stop for the time being.
I am sure that the session will warrant at least one more blog entry.

Just had my first video chat with my FetLife friend.. via Facebook.

What a strange experience talking to someone you've only seen in pictures and talked to via text; I wasn't sure what to say to be honest..

One of the things she wanted to see were the burns on my back from my session.

She wasn't very happy with what she saw and now appears to hate Mistress even more!

*This is getting complicated.....  

Well the good news is that the early onset of my MWS didn't last very long, and after a unexpected email from Mistress and a kick up the proverbial back side from one of my EP friends (you know who you are) my mood improved considerably.

So I thought I'd write about some of the stuff that's happened since.

Staying with my session to start off with; the burns from my steam ironing are obviously starting to come out now, as well as a multitude of bruises and a rope burn (the bruises are mainly due to me fainting as is the rope burn and not directly linked to me being laundry!). Surprisingly considering that steam was used I am not as badly damaged as I was last time (although the scars form the second session are still present). I do have nice dark burns at the base of my back due to the steam and I am rather excited that they actually look like the burns you'd get on laundry if you left the iron on it too long!

The burns on my upper back from being dried on the radiator are still sore and scabby put aren't painful and most likely will heal quite quickly.

My tummy has also been OK since I got back to my usual eating routine and there has been no further bouts of fainting.

As I said I've had a few emails and tweets form Mistress since the session, asking about my wounds, commenting on my tweets and my blog and thanking me for the post-session gifts I sent her.

I am obviously still rather upset that things went a bit amiss a few times during the session but I still had a good time, I am still here and Mistress still seemed to find the whole thing a giggle!

I do have some other news that relates to Mistress but is slightly different and also involves one of my friends on FetLife! It's really strange and quite bizarre and not something I've encountered before, women fighting over me, or more precisely women fighting over my safety!

If you remember the FetLife friend I upset with one of my stories at the start of April and who become a Facebook friend. Well we have become quite good buddies and talk to each other every night on Facebook; she likes to call be Puppy and role play! She's supposed to be a sub like me but can be quite bossy, made me cry a few times too!

Well she was really trying her best to get me to stay away from Mistress and not go to my session, as she didn't want me to get hurt. She was adamant that I shouldn't go and be treated like something I wasn't and get hurt again.

I obviously did go and see Mistress after I'd come to a truce with my friend and promised to keep in touch as much as possible and come back alive!

I also recently found out (sure I've said this before) that Mistress is also on FetLife and a few days ago she responded to my friend request, so I could change my status to 'Property of...". Now my friend had already left quite nasty remarks about Mistress in response to my blog entry about my third session (the same as on EP), so obviously Mistress replied in a lighthearted way to the comments. To which my friend, even though I'd asked her to be nice replied with another nasty comment.

So I have my Mistress who I worship, adore and idolise and my friend who I know is just been protective and who I care about a lot, fighting over me! Just how bizarre is that? Of course I don't want to upset either one of them so I was in a bit of a strange situation.

So I sent Mistress and email, apologising for my friends behaviour and my friend asking her to please try and be nice. It seemed to calm down then and both ladies logged off FetLife.

I must admit this got me really upset and sent me into another round of tears!

So the next day I had been speaking to my friend on Facebook for a few hours and I was just about to log off for the night, when I just happen to log into FetLife! Something caught my eye, something really odd! My friend and Mistress had both accepted each others Friend requests? What the.....?

I went shopping for gifts on Thursday in Caernarfon, not surprisingly for Mistress but for my FetLife friend as she is going to send me something nice I thought I would repay the favour.. Mostly silly stuff but I did get one item of jewellery specially engraved for her.

Still writing stories with and for Mistress Catherine, although she has been sick recently so our nightly story sessions have been a little curtailed and I have been doing most of the writing.

I got myself a webcam, mainly so I can talk with Mistress and my FetLife friend in Skype, which I will have to learn how to use.

It has been quite warm and sunny the last few days; yes I know warm and sunny in Wales? So I've been for a few nice walks and managed a bit of geocaching too.

I think that about covers everything...
 

Catherine in the wringer.

“This is going to hurt. This is going to hurt a lot!” you shout for some strange reason at the wringer.
You pull your legs back and try and push yourself back up the conveyor but the forward motion is too swift and you soon find yourself only inches away from the rollers again and again.
The next item of laundry comes up behind you and pushes you forward with its weight.
You just manage to wriggle to one side enough to let it pass.
You can here the SQUEEZE as it goes through and the water is ejected from below the rollers.
“Oh! No”
The next item on the conveyor nudges you from behind; again you manage to wriggle to one side and let it pass.
SQUEEZE.
The surface of the conveyor is now very wet as your continued refusal to be wrung has prevented the water from the last two items of laundry to go through the wringer from draining properly.
You slip and loose you footing and move just a little too close to the rollers.
They catch your feet and begin to draw you...
SQUEEZE
To be continued.